I am about to set sails again. I wonder where this entire thing will go.
I think it is good that the heart craves presence and inhales for someone and remains nostalgic about that energy. It is good because it is inspiring and definitely important. To realize that one is present and pulsating. As for the pragmatic answer to all of this. I just do not know. Distance, always creeping in and leaving one wondering just how much of a risk needs to be taken. Yet we keep on moving. Always transported to new directions. Wondering how to make it work. I guess time, again, will be the one to tell.
How are you? It was quite hectic here for me. I went to my farm with my family post the wedding so I just back to the city a little while ago. It should be a crazy week ahead. I have to get organized. It will be about executing well. I did not do that well at all this past week. The travel effect was a bit much and my mind was still on diving sites in oceans far away.
I want to be happy. Could not think of a better person to share that thought with.
1/31/2010
1/27/2010
Waking Heart
A long time passed. Out of touch post the New Year. Life got hectic. I left my prior location and it was extremely difficult to remain in touch. I craved for moments with myself. With no technology around. Away from everything.
Last year was a brutal year. Brutal in how raw it was. There were outstanding moments. There were unexpected moments. There were tragedies. There was triumph. Above all, there was a prolonged sentiment that the year was a turning point to a decade that was quite important and that marked important boundaries that needed to be thought of. Some of those boundaries shall be overcome. Others are perfectly built and shall remain as they were. In all, it was a year of tumultous changes for my psyche, my perception of self and my perception of outward self. I conquered, or at as least it feels as though I did, many cycles that had started in previous years and others that simply arose last year.
It has been a while since I feel I can write and sit as though I am present. With the lines of my body feeling the chair on which I sit. With the contraction of my arms leading up to the point where I press keyboards. Or when I am able to take the air in and let it out.
It was the time that I gave myself in December and then the one that I found deep in the waters of the Caribbean that provides this sort of acknowledgement and it certainly feels refreshing. I think I sought for empowerment when I truly did not need any. I am powered. I just needed to let it all arise from toes to joints and to fill every single inner part. I am here. Present. And it feels outstanding.
I got your voicemail shortly before leaving. I got that video of you in a moving boat that allowed glimpses of water to the left of your face. I got to see your eyes. They are incredible. They remind me of great moments. Thank you for thinking of me for keeping me present. I do, as well, keep you present.
Life is changing rapidly given this sense of momentum. Particularly due to a week spent in a remote island. 5,000 inhabitants. Only one road circling the periphery. And sun. And water, turquoise in all possible shades. Reggae beats. A rastafari diving instructor. A simple life. An experience that was organic. That did not feel paid for. That did not feel produced. Much like those few moments one has in adult life that are ecstasic in the absence of substances or stimulants. Just my body, changing, my mind accepting, and my spirit immersing itself into the depths of past and present.
It is awkard to talk about a trip as a turning point. Those tend to be outliers, and by definition, short-lived or remarkable points that cannot be easily repeated. This did not feel like that. It felt as a natural progression, just like my skin that started turning tanned every single day spent semi-naked under the san, just like my ability to sit on a beach at night and converse with armies of palm trees. All bliss. All natural, organic, self happening yet not self motivated. It happened.
So, I am here. Saying hello. Hello to everything that is in between you and me. Waking up and touching everything possible. The privilege of living this is something I am extremely grateful for. It is some divine luck and surmountable responsibility. I am ready, full on, to live and breathe and multiply any of these opportunities.
How are you? How is your soul? I remain intrigued, ever proud. I hope you are taking care of yourself. Seeking happiness. Thinking of places far beyond, sky high, were you deserve to be and to go always. Always higher. Always better. Thank you again for the waking heart and for keeping me present.
Last year was a brutal year. Brutal in how raw it was. There were outstanding moments. There were unexpected moments. There were tragedies. There was triumph. Above all, there was a prolonged sentiment that the year was a turning point to a decade that was quite important and that marked important boundaries that needed to be thought of. Some of those boundaries shall be overcome. Others are perfectly built and shall remain as they were. In all, it was a year of tumultous changes for my psyche, my perception of self and my perception of outward self. I conquered, or at as least it feels as though I did, many cycles that had started in previous years and others that simply arose last year.
It has been a while since I feel I can write and sit as though I am present. With the lines of my body feeling the chair on which I sit. With the contraction of my arms leading up to the point where I press keyboards. Or when I am able to take the air in and let it out.
It was the time that I gave myself in December and then the one that I found deep in the waters of the Caribbean that provides this sort of acknowledgement and it certainly feels refreshing. I think I sought for empowerment when I truly did not need any. I am powered. I just needed to let it all arise from toes to joints and to fill every single inner part. I am here. Present. And it feels outstanding.
I got your voicemail shortly before leaving. I got that video of you in a moving boat that allowed glimpses of water to the left of your face. I got to see your eyes. They are incredible. They remind me of great moments. Thank you for thinking of me for keeping me present. I do, as well, keep you present.
Life is changing rapidly given this sense of momentum. Particularly due to a week spent in a remote island. 5,000 inhabitants. Only one road circling the periphery. And sun. And water, turquoise in all possible shades. Reggae beats. A rastafari diving instructor. A simple life. An experience that was organic. That did not feel paid for. That did not feel produced. Much like those few moments one has in adult life that are ecstasic in the absence of substances or stimulants. Just my body, changing, my mind accepting, and my spirit immersing itself into the depths of past and present.
It is awkard to talk about a trip as a turning point. Those tend to be outliers, and by definition, short-lived or remarkable points that cannot be easily repeated. This did not feel like that. It felt as a natural progression, just like my skin that started turning tanned every single day spent semi-naked under the san, just like my ability to sit on a beach at night and converse with armies of palm trees. All bliss. All natural, organic, self happening yet not self motivated. It happened.
So, I am here. Saying hello. Hello to everything that is in between you and me. Waking up and touching everything possible. The privilege of living this is something I am extremely grateful for. It is some divine luck and surmountable responsibility. I am ready, full on, to live and breathe and multiply any of these opportunities.
How are you? How is your soul? I remain intrigued, ever proud. I hope you are taking care of yourself. Seeking happiness. Thinking of places far beyond, sky high, were you deserve to be and to go always. Always higher. Always better. Thank you again for the waking heart and for keeping me present.
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