4/05/2016

To The alcove of Life

Year 25

To a Love of My Life:

She rose wrapped by fresh air and draped in white Egyptian cotton.  Her bed was surrounded by white. High ceilings. That year (she had developed a habit for moving around town), she lived at The Ocean. Fifth floor.

She looked at the day outside. New York in summer. A quieter than usual city. Saturday at its best. The island finished where she lived. The tip, right there, at The Ocean's footsteps.

Approaching the bathroom she glanced at her reflection. She recalled "I have an appointment today". She washed her face clean. She then methodically showered. Creams perfumed her body. She walked out naked. Picked up a designer dress that hang in the closet. Perfectly dry cleaned. Perfectly fit for summer.  She wore her sandals and went to the Salon.

Her mind thought of numbers as her face was massaged. She barely noticed the hands that made her nails pretty. She had come to the world with one mission: to understand everything. Our origin. Our source. Our raison de être. The universe. Its particles. Everything. "A red button", she thought, "I am going to write about a red button." She made a mental note.

She returned home and he was waiting. He sat below the pastels covering the ceiling at the entry of The Ocean. The ceilings of The Ocean were splattered by a bad version of MichaelAngelo's sixtine chappel. Somehow, it worked.

He dressed elegantly too. Light beige linen summer pants. A white and blue striped top. Alpargata zandals. He carried a generic magazine under his arms. They hugged. The guard at The Ocean smiled at the sight.

She asked him upstairs. They took the elevator exchanging glances. They arrived and went in. He loved being inside her home. It made him feel that she was protected. He wanted her safe, happy, at peace, with time and space, to complete her mission. She rampaged through her closet. He looked at the books on the table, on the sofa, at her writings, and thought he should read more.

"Before we leave," he said, "I have to tell you this day has been curated for you and to start it I have a soundtrack to define what lies ahead". He asked her to sit down, he served her a glass of water, and they listened. A Chelo started, a voice continued:

"Don't hold yourself like that cause
You'll hurt your knees
well I kissed your mouth, and back
But that's all I need
Don't build your world around
Volcanoes melt you down

And What I am to you is not real
What I am to you, you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea"

The song ended. They rose. Shut the door.

They left The Ocean and boarded a train. The Ocean had a station right beneath it. When they walked in and sat down in their carriage laughing about the week's tribulations, a young couple of dreamers stormed in and said:

"These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume."
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 2.3

"This was Shakespeare in the Subway, Ladies and Gentleman, have a lovely day."

Amazed, phased, he promised she, she promised he, that they too will be as free someday. The train continued its way to Midtown. They rarely went there.

They sat on a wooden table at a Midtown cafe with a happening crowd. A woman, blond, in outlandish jewels, wrapped in cables, hooked to electronic apparatus, presided this meal. Thirteen people on the table chatted. The woman started handing advice and connecting folks on the table via wired cables. Them two were in silence, just answering with monosyllables when spoken to. The meal was a NY trip and they were enjoying it. They knew the time to leave was coming and there were expectations. He had promised her a surprise for that Saturday. "I have, for you, New York." That is what he said.

And the blond woman networked away, she was a diversion that added to the suspense. They patiently ate bits of bread and finally departed with loads of business cards that felt like cement drying on their hands on that Saturday.

So they walked out, her hand travelled to his arm. She said to him, "que me tienes preparado, oye!" and then she smiled as if she knew the answer. She smiled as if she knew everything. The numbers. The origin. The source.

His arm. Her question. And her grin made him smile inside. He felt nervous, butterflies, will this day be what I expect of it? He knew, at that moment, he loved her, he was in love with her, he wanted to give her his life, the origin, the source, everything.

He walked her deep into Central Park. They approached bushes and out came a canasta he had prepared. In it: champagne, white wine, rose, and green grapes. Enough to drown the city in a summer buss. They walked onto The Pond, got on a boat, her head felt back, she finally sat. Relaxed. In thought. He brought a book of Octavio
Paz poetry, they read out loud.

The boat floated and the champagne opened. "To you, to our 25th year in life, to us, to New York, to our dream completion", he said. She laughed quietly, in disbelief, and she let herself go into the warm New York air. In the green around them she thought if it was possible to control body desire for an afternoon. She wanted the water ripples of the lagoon. In the stories imagined. She wanted the tall building cusps lurking mischeviously and grandly on top of tree tops.  "She looks orgasmic", he thought. This might as well be everything I can ask for. This, is, happiness.

They rowed in circles, the sun encircled the boat, the wine drew to a close. They laughed so much. He said he had another surprise for her and they walked down via Manhattan. His favourite corners, his way South. They travelled down and he said: "now I'm going to give you something that should explain what I feel for you. It may be strange but it's how it is". The air did not move.

They arrived to Greenwich Street and they saw the street going up. Pedestals of silver, platinum, rhodium. Up two parallel lines in 55 degree steep climb, just between One Liberty Paza. As if a mountain grew out of Manhattan. And the moon sat aside this road, waiting to be batted away by the white lines separating the traffic lanes, white, metallic, beautiful. It was nighting. They hallucinated.

They walked into a room. He held her hand. She was nervous and ready. She sat and adjusted her hair. She drank sips of water. It became dark. They both starred at the large screen in front. For the next two hours they sat still. Their hands would not touch. Their souls did. They each held to their seat. It was too much. They were there. She cried. She cried so much. He felt alive. That was happiness.

Like a thunder the loudspeakers said to them:

"There is a mysterious ritual that dates back thousands of years. No living creature has survived it except the penguin. They have wings but cannot fly. They're birds that think they're fish. And every year, they embark on a nearly impossible journey to find a mate. For twenty days and twenty nights the emperor penguin will march to a place so extreme it supports no other life. In the harshest place on Earth loves finds a way."

The sound ended. The lights dim. They sat with each other. There. Then. They always will.

3/12/2016

Journey Into Visions


I am Giant - A Year Past

"I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
Oh baby
It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby"

Today the content is a bit different but the situation the same - 

- I came across this powerful concept in Project Management Theory that you do not measure versus progress versus a starting point but versus the end point - this mindblew me - the possibility that my life is not measured but what has been done to date, but actually by what whatever is left 

- at that point I decided I needed a tool to help me move a layer down and started tackling my routine - how is it that I live? What is it that I do? Day to day? I answered where? How? And who I spent my time with? I noticed I was travelling heavy 

- and separately I also started doing sod things powerful walking the path to me - that path soon became a path of honesty, of authenticity and of 

************************

On downward sloping mountains of peak glacier water I raft down. Me in hay form: me yellow, me light, me trespassing bushes, me unbeaten by the fish, me fostering microbes. Me as now wet hay. Undrouned: transported by rapid current flow. Its a raft in the world tongue's saliva. 

Petite singer facing human traffic unloaded from trains. In their eyes: hurry. On their hands: digital music players. In their ears: blasting noise. In their hearts: the inability to stop. Me as soul music. Me vocals between mouth's teeth. Me notes projected to the tile. Me as song. To pause. To consider that woman's voice. So hell raising. So air touching. Human current charged. Vastly exhausted. Moving everything with it. Moving tiredness, vice, concern, ambition. Living they are. Hoping for a holiday. Hoping for a limited escape from reality. From a break away. From this insane movement. 
It's a tunnel current in the worlds throat. 

The journey of a sperm. From incubation to deception to conception. Beautiful unique and coded. Transparent and see through. In the mans body fluid of contempt. Of preservation and disaster. An ever drying current. My guys. That one that made it through. Proximity to internal only. Travelling through membrane human cells and clusters. By the push of an impulse. By reaction to a tease. All that is. It's a molecule in the worlds loins.

The steps that I give. Becoming giant. Growing atop townhouses. And shanty towns. The stupidity of becoming giant. Sturdy but clumsy. Kill seagulls in becoming larger. Accepting this pace. Accepting this phase. His page. Her take. Their Gaze. I become giant. I become giant. My feet outgrow my shoes. My body from its clothes exploit. My head proportional grows. Now the joy. Of being naked. Of owning nothing. Of bing too big for anything owned. Givin everything Away. Even that smaller mans ego. It's just not appropriate for this giant anymore. Is been outgrown.!

I am giant 
I am giant
Me is going to simplify 
Me is going to simplify
I am unassuming
I am giant
Nothing from before fits
Nothing from later will
Bare
Bare
Minimum 


You Will Oink

Talking point black, argumenting matter of fact. Listening intently. At a corner below willow trees hanging of street lamb posts, preserved, with hanging plant pots, watered at 11am, daily, by the council, with our taxes. There standing. Stoic. Serious. Never had a conversation felt more relevant, a decision more pressing, and connection to the moment more direct. And in sudden, deep in the mili-second, of the hundreds that exist within a minute, of the sighs that go often unnoticed, deep in there, way deep, a man came rushing from the unnoticed corner. Pointing. Blushing. Aroused. Excited. Confounded. Dirty. He walks out and grabs our two arms and finishes off that point in time that felt so defining, so relevant, so ego-cusping. And he spins out arms and pulls, and pulls. Never have we trusted adults to touch us. Much less strangers to lead us by the arm. But he is incessant. And he cannot talk nor hear. So we follow. Like dogs. Like cattle. And we near a Mews street. Where trash is everywhere. Paper, white paper, and plastic. Nothing organic. A printer has exploited everywhere. And a whirlwind of white is everywhere. And as we get pulled we approach. A white pig awaits. He is smoking a gun. And he speaks. And he says to me and him: never ride high on an argument, you will oink.

Punta Blanca

Punta Blanca - Dec 2016

Late night, a party outside,
Beach, sun, a roar inside,
A zig zag way down to the beach,
Early twenties, life in swing,
But I am past that, why does the heart sing?
To music
To drinks 
To tropical weather
To life between
Decorate time
Restless, strength,
And beyond light,
Without stop

Moon party, dress moon, party dress,
The night is all on tonight - beautiful - life 
Let time not pass by

Oh, and yes, happy new year love 

2/25/2016

Count'Em Blessings

Gratitude ought to root in, 
For the chance, the moments lived, 
Like nothing matters, 
like everything else, dissolve, 
Like the end of hope, at the start,
Where all of it, all of it green,
Is yet once more the one thing left

No Querer

México Marriage - Febrero 2016

No querer tenerte,
No querer quererte,
No extrañar tu nariz,
No querer vida contigo,
No querer que funcione,
No querer compartir vida, 
No querer nada,

Dejar que fluya el río, 
Dejar que fluyan caudales,
Dejar que se seque la corriente,
Dejar,

Qué no te quedes sin mí,
Que no me quede sin ti, 
Que no espere nada,
Que todo viene,
Que ya se, algo,
Que ya sabes, todo, 

No hay nada mejor que un inicio
No hay peor que lo que no inicia 
Horizontes sin líneas al final 
Líneas 

#letgo

Alguien que llega para quedarse
Alguien que sueña lo que yo sueño
Que sabe - el desintir 
Mi vaso de agua 

2/21/2016

Aluminium Box

I need to tell you something. Something that I am most certain, happened.

I was in a room, filled with white blue light. I stood and was instructed to approach a table that rested magestic, cool, a few hundred meters in front of me. A box, I learned, not a table. A box, made of aluminium plates, light, long and firm. 

The room was vast, breezy, light. It was flanked by large tall windows that made up walls. The roof was not visible, it was, light filled. Textiles spread at random on the floor, with only two sheets just below the box, over the stone gray floor. Chiffon white curtains flowed. 

The instruction to me was: "approach the table and once there look inside, lift what you find, and to carry it over to the textile sheets and let it rest on the ground." I could see the long lush two layers of sheet resting on the stone. 

I was warned not to "be surprised or become emotional about what you will see. It will shake you, profoundly, but let it be, so go in there, observe and carry out the task."

And so I did. I walked towards the box. I got close. I leaned and got to peak over a long bed of water and an ocean that contained my dead body resting on it. There, I lied. Eyes closed. There, dead.

I stayed and observed. Looking at my body made of a mixture of ice and light, of water and stone, breathless, eyes closed. I laid there without a single breath, without movement. And I got to see something of myself that I haven't seen before. 

In sudden, air escaped. A last breathe, the last death. Then, breeze and tranquillity. Midsummer in, with the wince, let air out. Once, twice. Be done.

And so I and I extended my arms. I made a claw with my arms to grasp my body, my arm went under my legs, the other under my back. And looking directly into the closed eyes, across the torso and naked legs, I picked me up, over and carried me down. And then I let me rest on the ground on the sheets, on the fresh cold stone. 

And I walked away backwards. Looking intently towards my dead body. Strangely just trying to understand how is it that I have died yet I'm still alive.

2/09/2016

Noche de Mexico

- Noche de México - 

No querer tenerte,
No querer quererte,
No extrañar tu nariz,
No querer vida contigo,
No querer que funcione,
No querer compartir vida, 
No querer nada,

Dejar que fluya el río, 
Dejar que fluyan caudales,
Dejar que se seque la corriente,
Dejar,

#letgo

Qué no te quedes sin mí,
Que no me quede sin ti, 
Que no espere nada,
Que todo viene,
Que ya se, algo,
Que ya sabes, todo, 

#letgo

No hay nada mejor que un inicio
No hay peor que lo que no inicia 
Horizontes sin líneas al final 
Final sin horizontes
Líneas 

#letgo

Alguien que llega para quedarse
Alguien que sueña lo que yo sueño
Que sabe - el desintir 
Mi vaso de agua 

#letgo

In A Basket

Your heart is picked, from an entrenched, woven basket
Your heart is picked, an in time elevated, no longer lying on its casket 
Your heart is picked, and it sees the room, the light, the dark, sees itself, by leaves surrounded, and the wind blows, and the rain drops, and the sun scorches, and beauty reigns

Vulnerability, from a tree grows, and it expands and salutes, roots it grows, 
Roots deep down into the space below, grabbing tight, unaware of what happens above, 
And chimes sound, clouds pass, and to a storm the wind, oh the surface wind, it blows,
And yet, the speed like a rollercoaster goes, vertical, vertigo, time sets and you don't own, 

You don't own time, space, future, 
suddenly, floating overtime, it all stops, 
ready you are to be dropped, 
Yet the space in the basket is gone, no same space to land, just the vast grass, 
Time rolls, you tumble, and chamomile finds you, to shush, to shoosh, to whoosh,  

Your heart gets picked, your heart does not, 
And willows go, and trees fall, while forests collapse, into one single trunk, wood chopped, constructions built... Again

Gratitude ought to root in, 
For the chance, the moments lived, 
Like nothing matters, 
like everything else, dissolve, 
Like the end of hope, at the start,
Where all of it, all of it green,
Is yet once more the one thing left

And your heart gets thrown, into a basket,
Woven,
For a grabber to hold, 
and never ever let it go 

The One Thing Left

Gratitude ought to root in, 
For the chance, the moments lived, 

Like nothing matters, 
like everything else, dissolves, 

Like the end of hope, at the start,
Where all of it, all of it was green,

That
Is yet once more the one thing left

The unsent messages & tweets

Ibiza Yoga Shakti Learnings

- Let Go
- Be grateful for everything 
- Your childhood was gifted
- Draw blocks in your journal - 1 year = 1
- Be grateful for movement 
- Ibiza expects you to let go
- I love the latest Album
- I (shouldn't) miss you
- Authentic self speaks, voice mute 
- I made an offering for you
- Ibiza is looking after you
- You get caught up, miss big pic
- I am looking after you 
- I missed you (shouldn't have)
- Let go 
- Surrender
- Don't compromise yourself
- Kissing is amazing
- Some slap me, why time waste?
- Perspective, bird view, I C Me 
- Counted, in fingers, the moments 
- The hours between us
- Turn me on in
- Swoosh and wish, they try, I can't 
- Strange how human light works
- Light Holly, a perfect encounter
- Timing is everything 
- Are we better than our context? 
- Soak in your own power 
- Stars gaze me at deep Ibiza 
- defeat enmity  
- Soak in your own power
- Follow the Shakti 
- Be your best at your simplest 
- So in love, I am not airplanes 
- I shan't waste my time, not worth

2/08/2016

"Hymns of Life" (London Fields)


Raised hands upwards right,

Upwards left, so many a night,

The hymns that play through life,

Charged, tempoed, playing away

Jagged hips, join the motion,

Latin ways, but Anglo kept, control

And the lyrics, this time say

"You will fall with someone new,

No more being alone,

no more saying no more"






The source of this finding


another's eyes


And that, in itself, is the source of hope






Hands and hips continue but they go


To oblivious land


For those eyes have no been found

Happy New Year Love

Punta Blanca - Dec 2016

Late night, a party outside,
Beach, sun, a roar inside,

I zig zag way down to the beach,
Early twenties, life in swing,
Now past that, why does the heart sing?

To music
To drinks 
To tropical weather
To life between

Decorate time
Restless, strength,
And beyond light,
Without stop

Moon party,
dress moon, 
party dress,
The night is all on tonight - beautiful - life 
Let time not pass by

Oh, and yes, happy new year love 

Dejar

Noche de México 

No querer tenerte,
No querer quererte,
No extrañar tu nariz,
No querer vida contigo,
No querer que funcione,
No querer compartir vida, 
No querer nada,

Dejar que fluya el río, 
Dejar que fluyan caudales,
Dejar que se seque la corriente,
Dejar,

#letgo

Qué no te quedes sin mí,
Que no me quede sin ti, 
Que no espere nada,
Que todo viene,
Que ya se, algo,
Que ya sabes, todo, 

#letgo

No hay nada mejor que un inicio
No hay peor que lo que no inicia 
Horizontes sin líneas al final 
Final sin horizontes
Líneas 

#letgo

Alguien que llega para quedarse
Alguien que sueña lo que yo sueño
Que sabe - el desintir 
Mi vaso de agua 

#letgo